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welp you have now.
i am on day 4, ending day 4.
what it is, is a nerve cluster in your face gets inflamed and basically paralyzes half yo' face.
UGH
but it's not a stroke, and I seem to be recovering, and this didn't happen while i was teaching high school and had to worry about how i look affecting how I do my job.
So. *shrug* Could be worse. I thought it was a fucking STROKE.
I'm making short videos about my progress and discoveries with this thing, it's annoying as heck but I'm learning and troubleshooting (I HAVE TO TAPE MY EYE SHUT TO SLEEP BECAUSE MY EYE MUSCLES AREN'T WORKING Y'ALL)
Okay.
it's late and i still have to take my usual meds plus some massive antiviral and two very fucking bitter steroid pills. Bleah. and then i get to moisturize my eyeball and tape my eyelid shut. if you don't do that with Bell's you can get a corneal ulcer and go blind. So that's fun. No biggie
*SCREAMING* like if i had a body horror squick, which i don't, i have to stab myself with little needles on the regular and have had to for years? this could be a real problem.
but *sigh* I've done worse in the past so i can keep this shit in perspective.
self care. I has it.
i am on day 4, ending day 4.
what it is, is a nerve cluster in your face gets inflamed and basically paralyzes half yo' face.
UGH
but it's not a stroke, and I seem to be recovering, and this didn't happen while i was teaching high school and had to worry about how i look affecting how I do my job.
So. *shrug* Could be worse. I thought it was a fucking STROKE.
I'm making short videos about my progress and discoveries with this thing, it's annoying as heck but I'm learning and troubleshooting (I HAVE TO TAPE MY EYE SHUT TO SLEEP BECAUSE MY EYE MUSCLES AREN'T WORKING Y'ALL)
Okay.
it's late and i still have to take my usual meds plus some massive antiviral and two very fucking bitter steroid pills. Bleah. and then i get to moisturize my eyeball and tape my eyelid shut. if you don't do that with Bell's you can get a corneal ulcer and go blind. So that's fun. No biggie
*SCREAMING* like if i had a body horror squick, which i don't, i have to stab myself with little needles on the regular and have had to for years? this could be a real problem.
but *sigh* I've done worse in the past so i can keep this shit in perspective.
self care. I has it.
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But! I'm keeping my spirits up by carefully tracking changes and improvements, and I have had some improvements, and it's only day 5.
Thank fuck for having access to modern medical care and being able to afford it.
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It's weirdly embarrassing. My face quit working without my permission! How dare it!
:)
Among other things this is a good exercise in letting go of presumed control over ... Well. Anything, necessarily. But my body, sometimes, sure, will do the unexpected. Or the unexpected will happen to my body.
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I'm sorry about the eye taping, honey. I hope your symptoms diminish quickly.
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Thanks for the support, love.
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I have too good an imagination that I have to shut down thinking about "possible worse" and just focus on today.
Thanks for the support.
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Hope you get through this soon.
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