![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
...put a pin in this, as I've something more urgent to tackle...
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Had a hugging dream this morning. At a gas station, I run over to Lefty (dream-you gives good hugs too) & then realized I had no mask, went yikes, and woke up.
The other mini dream I had was less fun
In the dream Donaldo trumpissimo wanted to have sex with me. And I was taking refuge in the extremely formal language that I use to keep distance from unwelcome people, and in the dream I looked around the oval office (in retrospect I'm surprised I wasn't feeling regret that This was how I got to see the oval office) and I remember feeling extremely cautious about how I might successfully exit the room unassaulted, fully expecting that secret service and other guards would be no help in getting me out of the situation.
After I woke up this second time, I lay there still feeling cautious and on guard, and I realized something about the "grab them by the pussy" remark which is incredibly obvious in retrospect.
Trump said "they just let you do it"
And I realized that was simply a "freeze" reaction, of the "fight, flight, fawn, freeze, fuck" series.
And most women I know got trained out of their bodily autonomy before they were out of grade school. Poisonous culture.
More to chew on here. No solutions, not yet.
The other mini dream I had was less fun
In the dream Donaldo trumpissimo wanted to have sex with me. And I was taking refuge in the extremely formal language that I use to keep distance from unwelcome people, and in the dream I looked around the oval office (in retrospect I'm surprised I wasn't feeling regret that This was how I got to see the oval office) and I remember feeling extremely cautious about how I might successfully exit the room unassaulted, fully expecting that secret service and other guards would be no help in getting me out of the situation.
After I woke up this second time, I lay there still feeling cautious and on guard, and I realized something about the "grab them by the pussy" remark which is incredibly obvious in retrospect.
Trump said "they just let you do it"
And I realized that was simply a "freeze" reaction, of the "fight, flight, fawn, freeze, fuck" series.
And most women I know got trained out of their bodily autonomy before they were out of grade school. Poisonous culture.
More to chew on here. No solutions, not yet.
Tags:
I'm about to turn fifty years old this year (2019) and I pretty much only just realized that I can wear clothes that FEEL GOOD over those that look any kind of way. My jewelry can be comfortable, fit in ways I like, and be pleasing to my eye rather than any fashion trend. My skirts can flow in ways that feel good, can hug my curves instead of confine/conceal them. My pants are durable, practical, and almost all have POCKETS. My haircut is cute and comfortable and doesn't need much upkeep, just a cut every two months.
I just watched the clips of Evangeline Lilly talking about wearing superhero spandex and how the male actors complained, and then she brought her four inch stiletto heels up above the interview table and says "maybe they never had to get used to the low level all day discomfort that is women's clothing"
And that, my friends, is a POINT. I love wearing flat shoes with grippy soles, and cargo shorts (which aren't made in my size on the women's side of the store but are on the men's side) because Clothes Can Be Comfortable and Practical and Fuck Fashion Norms if that makes me "gender non confirming" then that's what I am.
I'm wearing comfortable clothes and shoes, and I have the privilege that I can walk with such confidence that nobody dares give me shit to my face.
WEAR COMFORTABLE CLOTHES.
Let's create our own new normal.
#women's clothing #women's fashion #women's rights #women's health #comfort above all #posted on Tumblr
https://labelleizzy.tumblr.com/post/185514699192/womens-clothing
Reblog from Tumblr if you want to.
I just watched the clips of Evangeline Lilly talking about wearing superhero spandex and how the male actors complained, and then she brought her four inch stiletto heels up above the interview table and says "maybe they never had to get used to the low level all day discomfort that is women's clothing"
And that, my friends, is a POINT. I love wearing flat shoes with grippy soles, and cargo shorts (which aren't made in my size on the women's side of the store but are on the men's side) because Clothes Can Be Comfortable and Practical and Fuck Fashion Norms if that makes me "gender non confirming" then that's what I am.
I'm wearing comfortable clothes and shoes, and I have the privilege that I can walk with such confidence that nobody dares give me shit to my face.
WEAR COMFORTABLE CLOTHES.
Let's create our own new normal.
#women's clothing #women's fashion #women's rights #women's health #comfort above all #posted on Tumblr
https://labelleizzy.tumblr.com/post/185514699192/womens-clothing
Reblog from Tumblr if you want to.
Tags:
wow. Busy fuckin' month, actually.
i started September with Burning Man and ended September with a flight home after a week in new york.
in between all that personal stuff (packing and unpacking, making memories and food and friends) the USA exploded again
these hearings for rage flailing alcoholic brett kavanaugh have got me and a lot of other people triggered AF.
the ONLY good thing about it is how everyone is actually talking about sexual assault, microaggressions, and shit like the gendered language and gendered biases a lot of us have never examined thoroughly before now.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/catherine-hardwicke-broke-records-with-‘twilight’-then-hollywood-labeled-her-‘difficult’
^^^ one article i just read where gender bias and gendered language ... shit i don't even really have the words for THIS. Prevented a qualified director from other jobs she was PRETTY DAMN FUCKING QUALIFIED FOR. So that the jobs could all get given to men.
so women (& other non-men) are finally looking at and expressing their rage. over a lifetime of bullshit that's been dumped on them. and the good men are listening.
But a lot of men are being dicks about everything and trying to sweep this tidal wave of uncovered feeling, back into the sea.
*smirk* Good luck with that boys! hah
I did not have the language to talk about my own sexual assault when i was 21. I didn't even realize it WAS a sexual assault, a violation of my no, an intentional boundary breach, for almost a year afterwards.
my college had a Take Back The Night rally. this was fall of 1991.
I remember some fuckin dudebros. Our chant as we marched was "whatever we wear, where ever we go, yes means yes and no means no!"
the fuckin dudebros yell back from the shadows, "no means yes, yes means anal!"
*fuming, 27 years later*
Our basic assumptions are DIFFERENT AS FUCK. Because "Patriarchy? you're SOAKING IN IT!"
i have a lot, a LOT of feelings about all of this shit. Kavanaugh is being brought face to face with his own privilege and is being called OUT on the damage his thoughtless actions caused... but the same kind of calling out didn't prevent 45 from being inaugurated (I'm NOT going to say ELECTED because he WASN'T).
So much to do! Thank fuck for therapy. I'm going to make concrete plans to hang out more often with women and other folks who are also enraged and ready to take action.
***I'll try to come back and write in more detail about all the amazing things I got to do and see in September, part of why the braindump is needed here is to acknowledge recent fucked-upness and to revisit it when I have more of a plan.
i started September with Burning Man and ended September with a flight home after a week in new york.
in between all that personal stuff (packing and unpacking, making memories and food and friends) the USA exploded again
these hearings for rage flailing alcoholic brett kavanaugh have got me and a lot of other people triggered AF.
the ONLY good thing about it is how everyone is actually talking about sexual assault, microaggressions, and shit like the gendered language and gendered biases a lot of us have never examined thoroughly before now.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/catherine-hardwicke-broke-records-with-‘twilight’-then-hollywood-labeled-her-‘difficult’
^^^ one article i just read where gender bias and gendered language ... shit i don't even really have the words for THIS. Prevented a qualified director from other jobs she was PRETTY DAMN FUCKING QUALIFIED FOR. So that the jobs could all get given to men.
so women (& other non-men) are finally looking at and expressing their rage. over a lifetime of bullshit that's been dumped on them. and the good men are listening.
But a lot of men are being dicks about everything and trying to sweep this tidal wave of uncovered feeling, back into the sea.
*smirk* Good luck with that boys! hah
I did not have the language to talk about my own sexual assault when i was 21. I didn't even realize it WAS a sexual assault, a violation of my no, an intentional boundary breach, for almost a year afterwards.
my college had a Take Back The Night rally. this was fall of 1991.
I remember some fuckin dudebros. Our chant as we marched was "whatever we wear, where ever we go, yes means yes and no means no!"
the fuckin dudebros yell back from the shadows, "no means yes, yes means anal!"
*fuming, 27 years later*
Our basic assumptions are DIFFERENT AS FUCK. Because "Patriarchy? you're SOAKING IN IT!"
i have a lot, a LOT of feelings about all of this shit. Kavanaugh is being brought face to face with his own privilege and is being called OUT on the damage his thoughtless actions caused... but the same kind of calling out didn't prevent 45 from being inaugurated (I'm NOT going to say ELECTED because he WASN'T).
So much to do! Thank fuck for therapy. I'm going to make concrete plans to hang out more often with women and other folks who are also enraged and ready to take action.
***I'll try to come back and write in more detail about all the amazing things I got to do and see in September, part of why the braindump is needed here is to acknowledge recent fucked-upness and to revisit it when I have more of a plan.
Tags:
Princess Peach gazed out across the landscape, her keen eyesight picking out Mario's progress through the mazes that, taken altogether in their many levels, comprised her father's kingdom.
Gold coins sparkled as Mario collected them, and the red flashes of moving mushrooms or green slides of skittering tortoise shells indicated his path as he approached another goal.
Even from her distant perch in the highest tower of the home she'd been raised in, she could see the speech bubble that emerged at the entrance to that worthless pile of rocks, one of countless decoys scattered throughout her father's domain. "Sorry, Mario, our princess is in another castle!"
Peach snorted in disgust as she finished packing her camping backpack, and pulled the last of her camouflage gear over her head.
Unrolling the rope ladder that would take her down the far side of the tower, away from the guards and toward the misty hills that meant freedom, she strapped the pack more securely on her back and muttered,
"To hell with being a prize at the end of someone else's adventures!"
She swung her leg over the windowsill and was gone.
This has been my Week Three entry for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
therealljidol, and the prompt was "In Another Castle".
Beta-readings done by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wrenb, and chipchat !
Please go read and enjoy my colleagues' entries here. To vote for my entry, link will be *here* once it's posted.
Thank you for reading!
Gold coins sparkled as Mario collected them, and the red flashes of moving mushrooms or green slides of skittering tortoise shells indicated his path as he approached another goal.
Even from her distant perch in the highest tower of the home she'd been raised in, she could see the speech bubble that emerged at the entrance to that worthless pile of rocks, one of countless decoys scattered throughout her father's domain. "Sorry, Mario, our princess is in another castle!"
Peach snorted in disgust as she finished packing her camping backpack, and pulled the last of her camouflage gear over her head.
Unrolling the rope ladder that would take her down the far side of the tower, away from the guards and toward the misty hills that meant freedom, she strapped the pack more securely on her back and muttered,
"To hell with being a prize at the end of someone else's adventures!"
She swung her leg over the windowsill and was gone.
This has been my Week Three entry for
therealljidol, and the prompt was "In Another Castle".Beta-readings done by
wrenb, and chipchat !Please go read and enjoy my colleagues' entries here. To vote for my entry, link will be *here* once it's posted.
Thank you for reading!
Tags:
Gentlemen of my reading list, particularly you of the feminist stripe:
a friend seeks assistance. She needs twenty-five more men to stand up against rape and rape culture, publicly.
You can read about it here and here.
I've particularly been struck by a recent meme on Facebook, which concludes that men should be offended when other men are apologists for rape culture or seek for exceptions to No Means No; to assume that men's natural state is rapist is a blow to all the kind, loving, and decent men I know who would never think of being so selfish as to force ANY unwanted attentions on ANYONE.
I HATE this topic. I HATE that we have to talk about this, that we have to convince people, that it ACTUALLY STILL NEEDS SAYING.
But our world is not as kind or as generous as I would have it be, and humans are not, either.
And so we have to explicitly *tell* people that sexual assault of ANY kind is not okay, and we have to do what we can to tip the balance toward respect for the agency and physical integrity of every individual, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, identification, presentation, history or reputation.
No means no.
Gentlemen of my friends list, please consider participating in YesheRabbit's project. I thank you in advance.
a friend seeks assistance. She needs twenty-five more men to stand up against rape and rape culture, publicly.
You can read about it here and here.
I've particularly been struck by a recent meme on Facebook, which concludes that men should be offended when other men are apologists for rape culture or seek for exceptions to No Means No; to assume that men's natural state is rapist is a blow to all the kind, loving, and decent men I know who would never think of being so selfish as to force ANY unwanted attentions on ANYONE.
I HATE this topic. I HATE that we have to talk about this, that we have to convince people, that it ACTUALLY STILL NEEDS SAYING.
But our world is not as kind or as generous as I would have it be, and humans are not, either.
And so we have to explicitly *tell* people that sexual assault of ANY kind is not okay, and we have to do what we can to tip the balance toward respect for the agency and physical integrity of every individual, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, identification, presentation, history or reputation.
No means no.
Gentlemen of my friends list, please consider participating in YesheRabbit's project. I thank you in advance.
Tags: