labelleizzy: (Scotty)
2019-05-22 06:39 pm

Happy birthday, Scotty

Something about the smell of sunwarmed star Jasmine turns me into an 8 year old, lips and fingers blue with cold, and warming myself next to my brother and sister on the sunny wall of the garage.
I mean. That's how you survive hours of Marco Polo (my sister Jen cheated! :) ) and dares for how long you can swim under water (Becky) and learning how to do flips off the diving board (my brother Scott, I was too chicken but I loved the "Nestea plunge" and sitting at the bottom of the deep end as long as I could!)

Happy birthday Scott. Lots of love and happy memories of sunburns and rolling down the back lawn, of your baseball games and helping you with your math homework (and that was when I decide to go into teaching: he had a "lightbulb moment" when I explained something, and I got addicted).
Shit. He'd have been 46 today... As always, #fuckcancer
labelleizzy: (Scotty)
2017-04-15 05:54 pm

Anniversary.

Today's my little brother's​ deathaversary.
Mom called me a couple of minutes ago. I hadn't truthfully been thinking about it, or him, today...
I have such a good life now. This makes the ... No... TENTH anniversary. Shit. Shit.

I loved him but it feels like I barely knew him.
I don't know what to do with this right now, now it's brought to the surface. I'mma go be productive.